World Mental Health Day: Understanding Dermatillomania | Blogtober

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of Skin Picking, Self Harm.

You may have noticed via social media that today is World Mental Health Day, a day for education, for spreading awareness and sharing support for those who suffer with mental illness. It is also a reminder that we should all look after our mental well-being and not be afraid to seek any help when our mental health is affecting our daily lives. For a while now, I have wanted to share a side of my mental illnesses that I don't talk about. Taking the step to discuss dermatillomania with you all was a tough one. I want to thank all of my fellow bloggers who have shared about their personal struggles with mental health; they have inspired me to find the courage to talk about my own experiences. Three posts that I found the most inspiring are by Leah from x Love Leah x, by Sarah from Sarah in Wonderland & by Nicole from Thrifty Vintage Fashion. Thankyou lovelies ♥ So today, since it's Mental Health Day, I thought it was time to take this step and share with you all about what it's like to live with Dermatillomania. I hope that this post can help remind others that are not alone and inspire people to be unashamed about their mental illness. Stay Strong! 

 What is Dermatillomania? 

I wanted to start off my post by explaining what dermatillomania is, as it's one of those conditions that is not talked about often and is largely unheard of. It is also a mental health condition that is often misunderstood and undermined, with people saying things like 'oh just a bit of skin picking? Everyone does that'. So many mental illnesses are undermined like this and this needs to stop! Events like World Mental Health Day are dedicated to spreading awareness about mental illnesses and working towards breaking the stigma and lack of understanding society has about them. 

So, Dermatillomania, also known as Excoriation Disorder or Skin Picking Disorder (SPD), is a mental health condition where the sufferer feels overwhelmingly compelled to pick at their skin. It is considered as a type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as it is an 'impulse controlled disorder' - Anxiety UK. People with dermatillomania will repeatedly pick at areas on their skin, in an attempt to remove both visible blemishes, such as spots, moles, insect bites, etc., and also blemishes that are viewed by them as imperfections or irregulaties, which very often can only be seen by the sufferer. This can result in wounds, scarring and tissue damage. Those who struggle with the condition will often pick almost ritualistically, focusing on certain areas of their body, with the face, back, legs and scalp being some of the most common areas. 

The compulsion to pick is often so strong that people with dermatillomania will pick at their skin without even realising they are doing it. It is a disorder closely linked with depression and anxiety, and sufferers feel a relief from stress after picking. Additionally, it is viewed by some professionals as a form of self harm, as it is used as a way to relieve stress by self-injury. 

Dermatillomania & Me 

I have struggled with the urge to pick at my skin for the last ten years. It began with the onset of my depression in my early teens. It makes me embarassed to say this, but I found enjoyment almost out of picking at any blemishes I found on my skin... spots, lumps and bumps, scabs, any little part of my skin that wasn't smooth would get picked at. When I had finished picking at the area, I felt a lot more content, even though I had just left behind a sore, open wound. As I got older and went through difficult times, my depression grew in severity and I developed anxiety disorder (although I had always seen that coming because of the way I was, the way I felt in certain situations, etc). The deeper into my depression I got, the more the urge to pick at my skin increased. I now wasn't only picking at visible spots and such as I had done at 14, I would spend time searching for the tiniest 'imperfection' and would sometimes repeat this for hours at a time. If I developed a scab as a result of my picking, I couldn't fight the urge to pick at that too, no matter how much it hurt. 

During the time I was studying for my degree, my mental health reached an all time low. I had never yet sought help for my anxiety or depression, I guess because I was scared about telling people and I just had so many reasons that where making me anxious, keeping me held back. This is around the time when my dermatillomania really worsened. I would find myself picking and I hadn't even known that I was doing it, almost like I was completely dissociating. It was scary! I also began picking as a way to distract myself from my overthinking and intrusive thoughts. These thoughts kept me awake for hours at night, ruminating over and over every detail of my life, and it was overwhelming. It seemed that the only way to find solace during these times was to concentrate on the pain that my picking caused :( It got so bad that I was waking up in the morning with dried blood all over my hands and fingernails, stains on my bedding. This is so difficult to write, knowing that people are going to read it. It makes me feel embarrassed and it really shouldn't! I'm hoping that others keep sharing their own stories and the stigma that influences these feelings of embarrassment will no longer impact us. 

I pick most frequently on my scalp and at the top of my back, but no part of my body is safe from these compulsions. It is something that I still currently live with, and it gets worse when I'm having bad mental health days or when I'm feeling really stressed. I'm currently taking medication and having psychological therapy for my mental illnesses so I am working the best I can right now towards recovery. I'm going to end this post with some ways that those who struggle from skin picking disorder can try to help stop their compulsions. 

Managing Dermatillomania 

There are lots of ways that can help you work on your dermatillomania and your urges to pick at your skin. As well as using my own suggestions, I have sourced ideas from various websites so I will list some of them at the end of the post. I hope these are helpful to any of my readers who struggle with this condition, too.

• I find it personally helpful to keep my nails cut short, which can be annoying if you want to have long nails that you can paint, but it is something that is a necessity for me. 

• Keep your hands occupied until your urge to pick stops. This can be achieved by doing some sort of hobby, like knitting, painting, colouring, whatever you like to do, but you can also play with a toy to keep your hands busy. There's these great little toys called 'Twiddle Toys' or 'Fidget Toys' that are really helpful for this, google them :)  

• Some people find it helpful to wear clothing that covers up their skin as much as possible to help them resist the urge to pick. This doesn't help me though but it's worth a try. 

• Wearing gloves can be a good way to stop, as this can make it difficult to pick at your skin.

• I've heard that another good way of managing dermatillomania is to apply skin care products, such as moisturiser, whenever you get the urge to pick. This way you are concentrating positivity on your skin and distracting the urge to pick. 

•Squeezing a stress ball or a cushion can be useful.

• I found that keeping my hands occupied was not always enough because I still had the urge to pick and I started a habit of rubbing my fingers together instead which caused my fingers to become sore and inflammed so I bought some cheap rubbers/erasers and picked them whenever I felt the need to pick my skin. I have also done this with some cheap blue tack.

•And finally, it is important to seek help from professionals if your dermatillomania is getting bad, CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the most common treatment to help treat most types of OCD as well as antidepressant medication. 

(Sources: NHS website, Derma Support Network, Anxiety UK).

Thankyou for reading! 

 ♥

 Do you struggle with a mental health condition? Please let me know if you find this post helpful :) 

Some related posts:

| Living with Telephonophobia | Time to Talk Day | Seeking Help for MH |

My Personal Struggle With Mental Health | Part Two

You may have read my last post about my experience with depression, which I've decided to share with you all because it's World Mental Health Day. This post is an explanation of what it's like to have anxiety disorder. Sharing your story about mental health can help decrease stigma and also remind others who are struggling with their own mental health that they are not alone. If talking about my own struggles can help just one other person, then it's worth it ♥ Thanks to all of you who took the time to read my posts today. 

 

Having anxiety is ridiculously draining. I worry constantly about so many things, and a lot of what I panic over is irrational but I cannot do anything about it. I've always been nervous when it came to meeting new people or being in busy social situations. Speaking in front of groups and doing presentations at school were like hell for me; I was even terrified about reading out in class or being asked to answer a question. I now understand this was all attributed to the anxiety condition that started to fully surface around three years ago. It makes feel inadequate, unimportant and annoying. It makes me worry about everything I've said to people. I overthink conversations I've had with people hours after; I get nervous when I'm replying to texts and I have to re-read things several times before I'm comfortable enough to send/post them. I overanalyse everything! I think about every bad scenario that could possibly happen whenever I go anywhere or do anything. I apologise all the time, and I'm always worried that I have somehow annoyed someone. Anxiety has made me dread going to places on my own. I experience difficulty speaking to people I don't know. I get nervous when I'm paying for things in a shop because I'm worried that I'll hand over the wrong amount of money or I'll say something silly when the cashier speaks to me. 

Phone anxiety is one of my biggest struggles... I can't answer the phone. I have to prepare myself for ages for a phone call that I cannot avoid and I feel nervous even when talking to someone I know, especially when the call is unexpected. I fear going to the doctors/dentist, travelling alone on public transport, being in extremely crowded places, ordering food when I'm at a restaurant. Being anxious about all these things makes me feel ridiculous and it's difficult for people to understand how I can be terrified about something that seems so simple to them. I use all the strength I have to still do things with my family and friends, even though I'm fighting a horrible internal battle. 

 

People with anxiety are often faced with a lot of judgement. People say things like 'just get over it' and 'it isn't that bad' or 'I'm nervous too'. It's like they just think we are shy or nervous like the way people get before an important exam or when giving a talk in front of a large group, but it's so much more than that. Anxiety also has physical symptoms that are often ignored. When you are anxious, your body is naturally triggered to initiate the 'fight or flight response', a physiological response that you need in order to survive when you are faced with threatening situations. When this happens, your nervous system responds and you can experience things such as rapid breathing, increased heart rate, sweating, nausea, shaking, stomach pain, muscle tension, and much more. This is what someone with anxiety has to deal with, often on a daily basis as well as panic/anxiety attacks. 

I decided to start blogging for many reasons; one of them being that I wanted somewhere I could talk about my life and share all the little things that make me happy, in hopes that this would help me focus on all the good things in my life, and less on the struggles I have to deal with on a daily basis because of mental health and chronic illness. But anxiety and depression are a big part of my life so I'm glad I've had the opportunity to share what it feels like, which I've been wanting to do for a while and have been too worried about what people would think or say. 

♥

Thankyou for reading!

 

My Personal Struggle With Mental Health | Part One

Today is World Mental Health Day, and I've decided that I'm going to share with you all more about my personal experience with anxiety and depression. I'm really appreciating the work being done by so many charities and organisations to help with ending the stigma surrounding mental health, by spreading awareness and encouraging more people to speak about it. As many as 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience mental health problems every year and being able to talk about their struggles and find a community of people who understand could really help. Although, I'm a big supporter of people of being able to speak openly without judgement, when it comes to speaking about my own mental health I am nervous, so I'm going to take a step in the right direction towards recovery and be more open about it. 

Please forgive me if I start rambling... I don't really know where to start. 

Having depression is extremely tiring. It's waking up and having no motivation to start your day, even if the weather is perfect and you've got lots of fun things planned. You have to use all the energy in you to pull yourself out of bed... sometimes you can't and end up sleeping in all day. It's emotionally draining, every task seems impossible and every little thing you manage to do takes away some of your energy. On bad days, it's like being in a state of constant stress accompanied by a deep sadness. Small things will irritate or upset you, and you will find it difficult to do the things you used to love doing. You will start leaving everything until the last minute and will cancel plans you've made with your friends. You struggle to find the motivation to look after yourself. You can go from being in a really happy, energetic mood to suddenly feeling gloomy and overwhelmed, and there is often no reasons for this mood change.

Sometimes, thoughts of sad things you've had to go through in your life will pop into your mind at the most inappropriate of times and ruin your day, and once you start thinking about one stressful thing you can't stop overthinking and overanalysing lots of different things. This can make it difficult for you to concentrate, to fall asleep at night, to do all the things you need to. There's also physical symptoms of depression that are not mentioned a lot. Depression takes its toll on your body, making you get aches and pains. You feel lethargic all the time and can't relax easily. Sleeping becomes difficult, because you either can't fall asleep and stay up for hours at night, you want to sleep all day and it feels like you have no strength to move from your bed, or you manage to fall asleep but constantly wake up and end up feeling like you've had no sleep at all. 

One of the most difficult things is having one of those bad days but still having to go somewhere, having to try and perk yourself up the best you can to go out and face the world, to put on a brave face. Attending my lectures at university became a real challenge for me, especially in my final year, because most of the time I didn't feel like I could face people and I knew I would not be able to concentrate in class. It became difficult to keep up with the lecture notes and everything I was missing by not going, and it meant I had to work really hard to get the grade I wanted. Your depression can go away for a long time and then all of a sudden hit you again. It can constantly be there in the background, ready to hit you hard whenever something stressful happens. It will make you feel alone and like you are not strong enough, but remember... you are strong and you are not alone! There are many ways to reach out and get help... there is some useful information such as helplines here.

 The lovely message below is for everyone of my readers :) I hope you're all okay, and remember you are wonderful! 

How gorgeous is this artwork? ♥ its by Lolitazlover 

I've decided to separate this post into two parts, because I've written so much! Oops :) 

 ♥

Thankyou for reading!