Depression & Numbness | Mental Health

Hello everyone! Today's post is going to be a more personal one, about something that has been really affecting me lately. It's been quite a while since I shared a post opening up about my mental health; my last one was all about what it's like for me living with obsessive compulsive disorder. Although many people still undermine the severity of OCD, and see it as being overly cleanly or strict when it comes to organisation, there is still a lot of information about it available online. However, when it comes to a particular symptom of depression (and many other MH conditions), the symptom that my post today is about, not many people know too much about it and there definitely isn't all that much information out there. I wanted to do my little bit to change that, to share with you all about numbness, what it really means and how it impacts my life. My hope is that this post helps others who can relate to what I've written, and also that it lets people know about something they may have never heard of before reading my post ♥

So you may be thinking... what do you mean by numbness? And to be honest, it's a little hard for me to put into words that really explain how tough this symptom can be.

What I basically mean is emotional numbness. The inability to process emotions, a feeling of being empty, being void of emotional response to things that used to make you feel something. When people have heard of this, it's usually focused on a situation of grief, on lost or heartbreak or deep sadness. Which is definitely part of it, but what some people might not know is that it has an effect on all of your emotions... happiness, anger, excitement. Emotional numbness can make them feel muted, like your feelings somehow don't work anymore. 'Some people describe the emotional numbness as feeling unfocused or ungrounded' - the healthline. It is a very distressing thing to live with, and it makes it tough to challenge the other symptoms of your mental health condition because you just can't seem to regain your emotions. 

It can also impact anxiety, which is just double the stress if also struggle with anxiety alongside your depression. You may be constantly worried about how your emotional reactions are viewed by others, or that they will think you are being ungrateful or cold or intentionally being awkward about something. I know that this is something that I personally get nervous about. As well as affecting your anxiety, emotional numbness can cause you to experience a serious lack of motivation, because well, your enthusiasm for things that you used to love doing may have dissolved. Where you once felt excited to get up and go do something like a much-loved hobby, you might now not be bothered about whether you do it or not. One of the most common ways in which depression affects people is by making them not enjoy things they used to love to the same degree anymore, and when this is coupled with emotional numbness, it can make everything feel like there's not much point to it anymore. 

How has emotional numbness affected my life? 

I have always been an over-emotional, very sensitive person. I am the one who sobs their heart out at movies and TV shows. Someone who's default emotional response to any feeling is to cry, whether I feel mad or upset or really joyful. I tear up if I see something that's really adorable because I can't cope with how cute it is! Yeah, I'm that emotional, haha! Or so, I used to be... then emotional numbness came along and took ahold of my feelings. It's really strange how it progressed, like the symptom just creeped up on me and I didn't even realise how much it was affecting me for ages. At first, I was just not as excited anymore, about most things that used to fill me with happiness. This was starting to really be a problem since I had little things that would still help to cheer me up when I was having a particularly bad depression day, when my intrusive thoughts wouldn't go away, but these self care practices started being less and less effective. This left me at a loss on what to do to improve my mood. 

I've briefly mentioned a few times on my blog that I have been going through some family problems and other stressful situations over the past few months, and I noticed a difference in the way I responded emotionally to those things too. Originally, they were a challenge to cope with, but over time I started to feel numb about them, like I felt nothing at all anymore. As a result, my anxiety was heightened because I began worrying about why I wasn't bothered. I was getting all sorts of unwanted thoughts about myself because of it. This is when things started being a huge problem, and I feel embarrassed talking about how feeling emotional numbness started to make me behave :( 

I started to get into a very self-destructive mind set, in an attempt to make me feel something. I tried other things at first to try to help with the numbness, such as listening to songs that have always made me have an emotional response, you know the kinds of songs that belong on a break-up playlist. I also watched a few movies that would always be my go-to when I needed a good cry. None of these things really did much to help me, even though I did tear up to a few of them, they didn't do anything to get me out of the headspace that I was in. There are many self-destructive symptoms when it comes to depression, one of them I have already talked about on here before and its probably the first one to pop into your mind when you think about the topic. However, there are plenty of others.. for me, I would try to make myself upset. I would start thinking about triggering moments from my past or I would go over and over something in my mind that I thought would make me react. I feel really anxious sharing this online, almost ashamed at myself *insert 26 shy-faced monkey emojis*, but I just feel like it might be helpful to me to say it aloud like this, and hopefully make someone feel not so alone in their own struggles. But yeah, none of these behaviours where doing much, other than making me stressed at myself that I kept putting myself through those things. 

Another thing that my feelings of numbness seem to be causing me to do is to lose track of my days. It's not that I forget the day of the week or whatever, but there doesn't feel like there's a clear margin between each day. I don't even know if that makes sense. It's like my days are an endless blur, like one constant day filled with the same old stuff. Fellow spoonies, have any of you ever felt like this? That's another thing that is impacting me... I just feel so alone in this feeling. I know that there's people out there experiencing the same things as me, but at the time that I'm stressing about what I'm going through, I feel so isolated, like no one would understand if I tried to explain. 

I wanted to conclude today's post with some advice, but I'm not sure I can give much because I'm still dealing with emotional numbness and I don't yet know how to help improve things for my mental wellbeing. All I can say is that I am putting in a lot of effort to stop myself getting into the habit of using self-destructive behaviours, because in the long run this might have a horrid effect on me. I might be building up all of these negative emotions that all decide to come to light when I do start to feel more again. This has already been happening a little. I've started to feel something, and then it becomes very overwhelming. I'm getting there though guys! Apologies if this post has been a miserable one to read. On a positive note, a piece of beneficial advice that I can give is to keep doing things that used to make you happy, don't give up trying to make yourself feel good, even if at the moment it may seem pointless. Just keep at it and eventually you might feel awesome :)

Also talking to someone, a mental health professional, might be something that helps you. It is believed that emotional numbness can be caused because you've endured a lot of tough things and have bottled it all up inside, so being able to express your feelings might make a big difference to how you feel. You can talk to your GP to get referred to your local mental health services. It's worth a try, even if you don't think it will have any effect, it might surprise you. Look after yourself guys!

Thankyou for reading! 

♥

Have you ever experienced anything similar to what I've mentioned today?

Or had a loved one go through similar things?

If you have any thoughts or advice, please share them in the comments :) 

Living with OCD | Mental Health

Hello everyone! If you didn't know, last week was a week of mental health awareness with Tuesday 10th being #MentalHealthAwarenessDay. The week was dedicated to getting people discussing mental health issues, a time for people to share their own stories of personal struggles and experiences, all aiming to help break down the societal stigma surrounding mental health problems and mental illnesses. It was awesome to see so much positivity on social media over those seven days, as well as all the support that was shown for people ♥ It was a nice reminder that there are lots of wonderful, kind-hearted people out there, and it's great to not feel so alone in my own personal struggles. If you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll know that I have generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and depression; I'm pretty open on here about how these mental health conditions affect me. However, there's another mental illness that I've battled with for the last four years or so (although the signs were there since my teens) that I don't really talk about, and that's OCD or Obsessive Compulsion Disorder. 

The reason why I've not shared posts about OCD before is because of both the stigma surrounding it and also my own anxiety. I've been too worried about opening up about it, I guess because I feel embarrassed by it and I really shouldn't! I decided last week that I wanted to challenge myself to talk about it on my blog. I did intend for the post to be up sometime last week but my nerves got the better of me. So, today I finally worked myself up into writing about how Obsessive Compulsive Disorder impacts my life, and even though I'm feeling nervous about sharing this, I feel that I need to: for my own recovery, and to help others too! I hope you find this personal post helpful or informative or whatever guys! 

So what really is OCD? 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a type of anxiety disorder, of which symptoms manifest in two ways, as obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are basically intrusive thoughts, intense worries that mirror the specific anxieties of an individual with OCD. There are many common types of obsession, including thoughts involving harm of yourself or your loved ones, thoughts surrounding exposure to germs, or disasters happening, or based on your relationships and/or sexual orientation, etc. These thoughts cause those with OCD to have the urge to carry out compulsions; these are physical or mental activities that bring relief to someone dealing with unwanted thoughts. Compulsions are normally repetitive, people find that they have to do the activity several times to deal with the stress and anxiety attributed to their obsessive thoughts. Some examples of compulsions: checking something repeatedly such as a door lock, washing specific body parts, and repeating numbers or words.

There are A LOT of misconceptions when it comes to most mental health problems, with people judging sufferers and assuming things about them and their conditions based on these misconceptions. For Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, this is definitely the case! People think that it is all about cleaning, about liking to keep neat and tidy. This misconception is actually based on some truth, as having anxiety surrounding germs and exposure to diseases are very common symptoms of OCD. However, just because someone is very into cleanliness does not mean that they have a mental illness. People saying 'omg I'm so OCD' is very frustrating for people living the condition; it just undermines the severity of it and further perpetuates stigma. Due to these misconceptions, it makes it very hard for people living with OCD to open up about it. Even I have been told that I don't have OCD because I'm not tidy enough! It's ridiculous! Events like Mental Health Awareness Day are crucial because they help to provide people with information about the reality of mental health problems, and this is why I think sharing personal stories is really important. It's certainly tough to hit that publish button, but it can be so beneficial to your recovery if you talk about it and get things out in the open that you may have bottled up. Have you ever blogged about your mental health? How did you feel afterwards? You should be very proud of yourself if you did! 

 OCD & Me

This part of today's post was the most challenging to write for me, just because I've not talked about these symptoms with many people and as I mentioned earlier, I have a lot of feelings of embarassment when it comes to my OCD. However, talking about how conditions affect you is what enables others to understand and relate, and get a glimpse into the reality of living with mental illness so I'm going to try my best to articulate how Obsessive Compulsive Disorder impacts my everyday life. I just wanted to note that not everyone with OCD will experience the same symptoms as me, and that there are so many types of OCD all steming from a variety of different fears and anxieties, I'm just discussing how it affects me personally. 

Repeatedly checking things...  

One of my most frequent symptoms is the need to constantly re-check things, to read them over and over. Whenever I write a message to or email someone, I have to repeatedly proof read what I've written to convince myself that it definitely makes sense, that there are no spelling errors and that I come across in the right way. I also do this whenever I write a card or letter to someone too. Basically anything involving one-on-one correspondance with someone is a stressor for me, unless I am very close to the person but even then, there are times when I still need to do this with them too.

This may not sound like an issue, but it's the amount of times that I need to read something that is problematic, and all of the intrusive thoughts that I get surrounding my need to do it. All of my insecurities about coming across like I'm stupid or something are what drives this obsession. It has gotten me to the point many times where it has taken me hours, sometimes days, to write or reply to a message. I have a few times gotten such intense anxiety that I have reopened letters and cards that I've already checked and thus sealed, because I have convinced myself that I must be wrong and that there's a mistake. I constantly seek reassurance whenever I have to do these things, by getting someone else to check over what I've written, to avoid the intrusive thoughts occuring. Needing reassurance is a big element of all of my mental illness combined and I'm sure that I annoy all of my loved ones with my constant asking them for approval. 

Hoarding...  

This is probably the second most well-known symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You have all probably watched at least one show or documentary before about an extreme hoarder so you'll be familiar with how difficult it can be for people who hoard to get rid of their belongings, no matter how useless they seem to onlookers. There are lots of reasons why people collect too many possessions until they are eventually overrun with them. These obsessions to hoard items may stem from a trauma in their lives which makes them feel the need to store things to use in the future; they may also become emotionally attached to the things they own and these are just a couple of examples. 

I have always had a hard time throwing things away. I get really attached to my possessions, and it makes me worry that people will see me as a materialistic person because of it. I have struggled with depression for most of my life so far and my depression definitely plays into my OCD when it comes to hoarding. Like most people, whenever I get something new it makes me feel good. But because I struggle with my mood as a result of my depression, the happiness that I feel whenever I get something has a real impact on me. I treasure these moments and therefore, I treasure the items associated with these positive feelings on a subconscious level. This makes it so tough for me to part with a lot of my things, even if I know that I don't need them anymore. If I can give them away to someone else, I can usually do that... I like the idea of making someone else happy in the same way that I felt when I got that particular item, but throwing them away to go to waste is just something that I struggle with. I get very worked up about the idea of throwing something away, because of this and also because I think about how the item can be used in the future without me having to re-buy a similar thing some day. 

My intrusive thoughts have gotten me to the point before that I've gone back to the bin bag and taken the item back out again (don't worry guys! I'm not going rummaging through the household bin. When I throw things away, I put them in my bedroom paper bin or into a carrier bag). When it comes to things that have a face too so plushies or keyrings of cute characters and such, I can't bring myself to discard them and the idea makes me pretty upset. To help me overcome this symptom, I like to do clear out's in the company of others so that I can get the answers to my internal questions, and then be encouraged that I don't need to keep something. At the moment, we are in the process of decorating and I will soon have my own bedroom finally so this symptom is being very challenged as I try to organise all of my possessions that have been stored away in boxes and cupboards ever since before I moved away to attend university. My OCD is being really tested and I'm trying my best to not keep items that I really don't have any use for. Wish me luck! 

 

(I hope I'm not boring you too much everyone! If you managed to make it though my post so far guys, well done haha!) 

Ordering & Symmetry... 

This is one of those many symptoms that have so many misconceptions surrounding it. Through tv shows and movies depicting OCD, we are shown many characters with this mental health problem having their house ordered to perfection, and whenever something is moved it causes them a lot of distress. This is not necessarily wrong, because there are people who's OCD makes the order of their possessions very important to their mental well-being. It is only a problem that this has now become one of those stereotypical indicators of OCD and the various other symptoms seem to be unheard of in popular media. I am personally one of those messy organised people, where my bedroom, etc., may appear cluttered to someone else but for me, everything is ordered and I know where to find something if I need it. Having to share a bedroom all of my life so far has probably had something to do with this, nonetheless my things are not stored with precision. 

So is ordering something that affects me when it comes to OCD? Yes, it is. I have mentioned before on my blog that I am a very fussy eater, but this is not just because of what I like to eat. I also have a problem with how my food is ordered on the plate, if certain types of food are touching one another, if the juices of something come into contact with something else on the plate.... it can get pretty ridiculous how stressed I get if things go wrong with my meal. I will often not eat something if it has touched something that I didn't want it to, and this probably makes me sound so silly but yeah it's a thing that has always affected me. I have gotten better with this as I've gotten older but it still makes eating out a stressor. 

As for symmetry, this obsession for me manifests itself in the form of dermatillomania. If you've not heard of this condition before, it's a type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes sufferers to obsess over perceived imprefections on their skin to the point that they will try to remove them. Dermatillomania is also known as Excoriation Disorder, more commonly referred to as skin picking disorder. I don't want to go into too much detail here, but I shared a post all about living with skin picking disorder last year on Mental Health Awareness Day that you can read here. How this condition relates to symmetry is that I can't cope with my skin not being smooth or having any lumps or bumps. I have had this condition since my early teens but over time as my mental illness worsened so did the dermatillomania. It's a form of self harm thats very difficult to stop, but I'm working on it :)

Fear of Contamination... 

This obsession is unquestionably the most iconic symptom of OCD. Whenever Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is represented, whether it's in the media or thoroughout society, repetitive hand-washing is always the picture of this mental illness. This depiction of OCD probably derived from the original psychological observations of the condition from back when science wasn't as advanced as it is today and so only the most visual symptoms may have been categorised. Hand-washing is a very common compulsion, and I myself repeatedly perform this ritual whenever my fear of contamination is triggered. Whereas many people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder have anxieties routed in fear of germs or disease-causing pathogens, mine is caused by fear of chemical exposure. This is one of the symptoms of my own mental health that I am most embarrassed by, because I know how irrational my obsessions can seem to others :(

You may be wondering what exactly I mean by chemical exposure. Essentially anything that is a hazardous chemical, e.g. household cleaning products, is a stressor for me. As a consequence, I cannot touch certain things with my bare hands (batteries, bleach bottles and such). If I have to use something like nail polish remover, I panic about getting the chemicals off of my hands afterwards and I will continously wash them. Often I will do this until they are sore and red. However most of the time, I am still convinced that the chemicals are not washed away and then I am scared to touch my face or put my fingers near my eyes because I get intrustive thoughts that I'm going to blind myself or irritate my skin and whatnot. I also cannot make food or drinks for other people most of the time because I get thoughts telling me that I might harm them by exposing them to whatever dangerous chemicals and/or germs that I've come into contact with. I know rationally that this won't happen but at the time, the threat is very real to me. 

Intrustive Thoughts & Compulsion 'Rituals'...

The final symptom that I wanted to discuss with you all is the worst one in my opinion; I've saved the worst 'til last! It is the worst one for me because of how much it impacts my daily life and causes me the most amount of distress. I've mentioned intrustive thoughts several times throughout today's post, because it's these kinds of thoughts that contribute to the obsessions experienced by those with OCD but I wanted to explain what an intrustive thought actually is. Some of our thoughts are involuntary, our brain filled with all of its memories of our past experiences, of our phobias, the things that make us uncomfortable or angry, initiates thoughts without our control in response to our surroundings, to sensory inputs and stimuli. Everyone gets intrustive thoughts from time to time. Let me think of an example... have you ever been out and about and suddenly thought to yourself 'everyone is watching me' even thought you've not seen anyone look at you at all... that's an intrustive thought. Or, you've been sitting in your room chilling and feeling perfectly fine then suddenly you think about that one time that you embarassed yourself in front of someone. This thought seemingly came out of nowhere, because it was an intrustive thought. 

Well, for people with a mental health problem, these types of thoughts occur very regularly, a lot of time everyday. They are hard to ignore, sometimes it's almost impossible to distract yourself from them and try to focus your mind on something else. They can be very debilitating, especially when the thoughts are about past traumatic experiences or about your insecurities. With OCD, you experience these a lot! They are what usually cause you to have to carry out a compulsion, in order to relieve some of your anxiety and thus make the intrustive thoughts go away. Sometimes you can preform an activity several times and you still can't calm down, and this is where 'rituals' can develop. Rituals are compulsions that involve repeated sets of actions, whether it's washing your hands in a specific routine or counting a particular way. My own rituals involve both counting and touching specific items. I have no idea why this sequence of actions helps me, but if I don't do it whenever I get a very intense thought, I get very agitated. 

It is very crippling to have to live with this symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, as intrustive thoughts hit me at the most random of times and it sucks! I can be having a fabulous time and suddenly, a thought or an image comes to mine for no reason and stress sets in. Sometimes these thoughts are caused by an association, so I will see or hear something and ping! I think of something horrible. It can be very hard to deal with them in public places when I can't preform my little anxiety-relieving ritual. I have had to make an excuse to leave a room when I'm with friends because something has triggered my OCD.For example, I have been watching the news with people before and a tragedy of some kind had been reported. Everyone starts discussing how horrible it would be to experience it, so obviously I start thinking about that too and then I panic that because I've thought about it, it's going to somehow happen. I then try to ignore my thoughts but my anxiety is too high and I have a mighty need to go perform a compulsive behaviour to help me calm down again. I can't believe that I'm sharing about this, because it's so embarassing to me, eeek! >.<

Working Towards Recovery

I'm going to end this post on a more positive note :) When I talk about recovery, this does not mean that something heals, that it goes away as the word would suggest. Like in the case of some physical health conditions, which go into a state of recovery, where symptoms are pretty much gone but they could come back at anytime... this is what recovery of mental illness is referring to. Being recovered from a mental health condition means being at a point where you are experiencing less intense symptoms, where you are able to function more and have healthy coping mechanisms in place to help you keep those symptoms at bay. 

I am in the process of working towards a place of recovery with all of my mental illnesses and I'm still on the journey. It will be a while until I am where I hope to be, but in the meantime I am setting myself little goals to help me manage things along the way. When it comes to my OCD, I have already noticed so many little improvements and so I hope that one day I can share an update with you all on how things have changed. I hope that my post today has been an insightful one, that it has been interesting and I haven't gotten carried away with my writing, haha! If you've found my post helpful, please let me know in the comments. Have a lovely day guys!

Thankyou for reading!

 

♥

You can find out more information about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder over on the Mind UK Mental Health website. They are a fabulous charity!

World Mental Health Day: Understanding Dermatillomania | Blogtober

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of Skin Picking, Self Harm.

You may have noticed via social media that today is World Mental Health Day, a day for education, for spreading awareness and sharing support for those who suffer with mental illness. It is also a reminder that we should all look after our mental well-being and not be afraid to seek any help when our mental health is affecting our daily lives. For a while now, I have wanted to share a side of my mental illnesses that I don't talk about. Taking the step to discuss dermatillomania with you all was a tough one. I want to thank all of my fellow bloggers who have shared about their personal struggles with mental health; they have inspired me to find the courage to talk about my own experiences. Three posts that I found the most inspiring are by Leah from x Love Leah x, by Sarah from Sarah in Wonderland & by Nicole from Thrifty Vintage Fashion. Thankyou lovelies ♥ So today, since it's Mental Health Day, I thought it was time to take this step and share with you all about what it's like to live with Dermatillomania. I hope that this post can help remind others that are not alone and inspire people to be unashamed about their mental illness. Stay Strong! 

 What is Dermatillomania? 

I wanted to start off my post by explaining what dermatillomania is, as it's one of those conditions that is not talked about often and is largely unheard of. It is also a mental health condition that is often misunderstood and undermined, with people saying things like 'oh just a bit of skin picking? Everyone does that'. So many mental illnesses are undermined like this and this needs to stop! Events like World Mental Health Day are dedicated to spreading awareness about mental illnesses and working towards breaking the stigma and lack of understanding society has about them. 

So, Dermatillomania, also known as Excoriation Disorder or Skin Picking Disorder (SPD), is a mental health condition where the sufferer feels overwhelmingly compelled to pick at their skin. It is considered as a type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as it is an 'impulse controlled disorder' - Anxiety UK. People with dermatillomania will repeatedly pick at areas on their skin, in an attempt to remove both visible blemishes, such as spots, moles, insect bites, etc., and also blemishes that are viewed by them as imperfections or irregulaties, which very often can only be seen by the sufferer. This can result in wounds, scarring and tissue damage. Those who struggle with the condition will often pick almost ritualistically, focusing on certain areas of their body, with the face, back, legs and scalp being some of the most common areas. 

The compulsion to pick is often so strong that people with dermatillomania will pick at their skin without even realising they are doing it. It is a disorder closely linked with depression and anxiety, and sufferers feel a relief from stress after picking. Additionally, it is viewed by some professionals as a form of self harm, as it is used as a way to relieve stress by self-injury. 

Dermatillomania & Me 

I have struggled with the urge to pick at my skin for the last ten years. It began with the onset of my depression in my early teens. It makes me embarassed to say this, but I found enjoyment almost out of picking at any blemishes I found on my skin... spots, lumps and bumps, scabs, any little part of my skin that wasn't smooth would get picked at. When I had finished picking at the area, I felt a lot more content, even though I had just left behind a sore, open wound. As I got older and went through difficult times, my depression grew in severity and I developed anxiety disorder (although I had always seen that coming because of the way I was, the way I felt in certain situations, etc). The deeper into my depression I got, the more the urge to pick at my skin increased. I now wasn't only picking at visible spots and such as I had done at 14, I would spend time searching for the tiniest 'imperfection' and would sometimes repeat this for hours at a time. If I developed a scab as a result of my picking, I couldn't fight the urge to pick at that too, no matter how much it hurt. 

During the time I was studying for my degree, my mental health reached an all time low. I had never yet sought help for my anxiety or depression, I guess because I was scared about telling people and I just had so many reasons that where making me anxious, keeping me held back. This is around the time when my dermatillomania really worsened. I would find myself picking and I hadn't even known that I was doing it, almost like I was completely dissociating. It was scary! I also began picking as a way to distract myself from my overthinking and intrusive thoughts. These thoughts kept me awake for hours at night, ruminating over and over every detail of my life, and it was overwhelming. It seemed that the only way to find solace during these times was to concentrate on the pain that my picking caused :( It got so bad that I was waking up in the morning with dried blood all over my hands and fingernails, stains on my bedding. This is so difficult to write, knowing that people are going to read it. It makes me feel embarrassed and it really shouldn't! I'm hoping that others keep sharing their own stories and the stigma that influences these feelings of embarrassment will no longer impact us. 

I pick most frequently on my scalp and at the top of my back, but no part of my body is safe from these compulsions. It is something that I still currently live with, and it gets worse when I'm having bad mental health days or when I'm feeling really stressed. I'm currently taking medication and having psychological therapy for my mental illnesses so I am working the best I can right now towards recovery. I'm going to end this post with some ways that those who struggle from skin picking disorder can try to help stop their compulsions. 

Managing Dermatillomania 

There are lots of ways that can help you work on your dermatillomania and your urges to pick at your skin. As well as using my own suggestions, I have sourced ideas from various websites so I will list some of them at the end of the post. I hope these are helpful to any of my readers who struggle with this condition, too.

• I find it personally helpful to keep my nails cut short, which can be annoying if you want to have long nails that you can paint, but it is something that is a necessity for me. 

• Keep your hands occupied until your urge to pick stops. This can be achieved by doing some sort of hobby, like knitting, painting, colouring, whatever you like to do, but you can also play with a toy to keep your hands busy. There's these great little toys called 'Twiddle Toys' or 'Fidget Toys' that are really helpful for this, google them :)  

• Some people find it helpful to wear clothing that covers up their skin as much as possible to help them resist the urge to pick. This doesn't help me though but it's worth a try. 

• Wearing gloves can be a good way to stop, as this can make it difficult to pick at your skin.

• I've heard that another good way of managing dermatillomania is to apply skin care products, such as moisturiser, whenever you get the urge to pick. This way you are concentrating positivity on your skin and distracting the urge to pick. 

•Squeezing a stress ball or a cushion can be useful.

• I found that keeping my hands occupied was not always enough because I still had the urge to pick and I started a habit of rubbing my fingers together instead which caused my fingers to become sore and inflammed so I bought some cheap rubbers/erasers and picked them whenever I felt the need to pick my skin. I have also done this with some cheap blue tack.

•And finally, it is important to seek help from professionals if your dermatillomania is getting bad, CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the most common treatment to help treat most types of OCD as well as antidepressant medication. 

(Sources: NHS website, Derma Support Network, Anxiety UK).

Thankyou for reading! 

 ♥

 Do you struggle with a mental health condition? Please let me know if you find this post helpful :) 

Some related posts:

| Living with Telephonophobia | Time to Talk Day | Seeking Help for MH |

The Sad Ghost Club

Hey everyone! Today's post is going to be about my recent order from The Sad Ghost Club, an awesome project set up to spread awareness about mental health. It's Depression Awareness week so I thought it would be a great time to blog about the project and show you some of the comics and merch they make to get people to talking more about mental health. 

The Sad Ghost Club project is really awesome! I absolutely love the work they are doing to promote mental health awareness, such as working with mental health charities. The illustrations they create are beautiful and all their messages are positive and encouraging, and aim to help people who are struggling with their mental health. I ordered a few items from them, which all came wonderfully packaged in a little box with the super cute ghost logo on the front. The box was lined with red tissue paper and it had the appearance of many subscription boxes I've seen... I was really impressed with the packaging. Inside was a pack of four badges, a self care booklet and a pack of four postcards, along with a few little extra things. 

 The first items that I took out of the box were these adorable little button badges. I love how each badge has a unique design and that they are all beautifully illustrated and colourful. Three of the buttons have a lovely statement on them and I can't help but smile when I look at them. They are sweet little reminders that you are doing great and everything is going to be okay. The final badge simply says 'Sad Ghost Club' so it will be nice to put this one on my bag where people can see it, helping to spread awareness of the project. 

 The next item that I looked at was the 'Guide to Self Care' booklet. I was really curious about what this booklet would contain inside and I discovered that it's such a helpful little book filled with comic-style illustrations, information all about how important self care is and sections to fill in yourself. This would make a fantastic gift for any of your loved ones who are struggling, just to remind them to look after themselves. Included with the booklet was an adorable sticker reading 'Take Care of Yourself' bordered with pretty little flowers and a gorgeous postcard/print. This states 'Be Kind to Yourself, Love from The Sad Ghost Club' surrounded by fantastic illustrations of mountains, leaves and ghosts with tiny speech-bubbles filled with kind words. 

 

 One the back of the postcard/print, there is a membership certificate to fill in with your name to state you are an official member of The Sad Ghost Club. I think this an adorable addition to the order and I really like it! I love the level of detail that's gone into the design of the self care booklet and this certificate, the artists' work is amazing!

The last items I purchased were the postcards: a set of four exceptionally illustrated postcards, all with a different design. One of the many things that I love about the design of these products is all of the natural elements used in the illustrations: mountains, the weather, leaves, inserts, and more. They are just gorgeous! The postcard above on the left is my favourite design out of all the postcards. I adore the cute little skulls, the flowers and leaves of various colours, and there is even a little pair of green socks! :) It's so vibrant! The little sticker you can see in the photograph above is one of the freebies added to the box. 

 Here are the other two postcards, which again have stunning artwork. I especially like the under the sea theme on one of the postcards, featuring seaweed and other aquatic plants, as well as shells and bubbles. I think the quote of this postcard is also my favourite in the entire box, 'Allow Yourself to Be Where You Are'. This is a nice reminder that recovery takes time and that it's okay to do things at your own pace. Remember that you are trying your best and you should be proud of yourself for that. I wish I'd taken a photograph of the back of the postcards to show you all the pretty leafy border that surrounds the area where you write your message; it's another cute addition to the design. The little blue heart sticker is the second freebie that came with my order, and I think it's another lovely reminder that it's okay to be sad sometimes. 

Overall, I was very happy with my order. I feel good that I have been able to support all of the hard work and effort that goes into the running of this project. I can't wait to get more of their merch! I think it's so important to get people discussing mental health more openly, and projects like The Sad Ghost Club can really make a difference in changing people's attitudes towards talking about their feelings and their own mental health. The more we talk about mental health, the less stigmatised it will become and making little steps towards this goal are crucial. Even wearing something like the gorgeous button badges can make a difference to at least one person's day, they could see the statement 'You got this!' and it might put a smile on their face and give them a little boost of confidence to get through whatever challenges they may face that day. 

Thankyou for reading!

♥

Do you know of any of other mental health projects? I'd love to hear about them.

Also, who else has purchased from The Sad Ghost Club? What did you get? 

 

 Related posts

| Time to Talk Day | Seeking Help for Mental Health | 

 

Seeking help for Mental Health

Today's post has been inspired by my recent decision to try medication for my mental health. I have anxiety and depression, and for months I've been researching and talking to others and really considering my options when it comes to treatment. I have been having Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (or CBT) sessions for around 4 months and so far it's not been very helpful for me personally but it got me thinking about how I wish I'd have sought help sooner and why I didn't. I know that getting help for mental health problems is scary for many people; I was extremely nervous and put it off for such a long time, however it's really important that if your mental health is affecting your everyday life and stopping you doing the things you enjoy that you seek help. There are many reasons why people struggle to ask for help, some of which influenced me when it came to having the courage to go to the doctors and so I wanted to talk about some of those reasons.

Mental Health Stigma

One of the major contributing factors to people not wanting to seek help is the discrimintion and stigma in society towards mental health. There is still a lot of ignorance when it comes to people's perceptions of those with mental health conditions. In a survey by charity Time to Change, they found that 87% of people reported that they had experienced stigma. Mental illnesses are often undermined, they are not considered as 'real' health problems and people say cruel things like 'just get over it'. People trivialise the feelings of people with mental health conditions by telling them to stop worrying and saying that there's others who are worse off than them and that they have no reason to be sad. There are also a lot of horrible names that are used to describe people with mental health problems, such as 'crazy' or 'psycho' so the thought of being labelled is often very upsetting and even embarrassing for some people. It can be worrying to think of how discrimination may cause people to act differently towards you after they learn about your mental health problems. It can be very hard to ignore the negativity around us and the thought of being judged can make us worried about being open about how we feel, but it's important to remember that your feelings are valid and you are not alone. There is lots of support out there for you and you shouldn't let the opinions of others hold you back from seeking help. 

 You've never told anyone about your mental health problem

If you've never talked to anyone about how you're feeling, it can be terrifying thinking about opening up to a complete stranger about your innermost thoughts. This was definitely something that stopped me from talking to anyone about my mental health. My anxiety made me feel as though no-one would believe me or take me seriously and I've always worried that I'm wasting people's time. It took the difficulties that I experienced in my final year of university to finally convince me that there was nothing I could do to help myself without trying to seek support. My first step was going to speak to my universities student services and I had a meeting with one of the advisors about my anxiety and how it was making it challenging for me to cope with my studies. I'm really glad that I did because they put an action plan in place to help me and it made me feel proud of myself. It was this that gave me the courage to go to see my GP about my anxiety. A piece of advice that helped me prepare for my appointment was to write down my symptoms and make notes to take with me so that if I got panicky, I could just read off the notes. I actually ended up giving my GP the notes to read; he was understanding and referred me to the local mental health services. Even thought the first step is nerve-wracking, it's definitely worth pushing yourself and asking for help. It's important to remember that mental health problems affect many people and so doctors have heard similar things before so don't be afraid to talk to them about how you've been feeling. If you have a close friend or family member who you feel you can talk to about your mental health, you can take them along to the appointment with you :)

'Do I need help to seek help?'

Due to the media's representation of mental illness, which is often drawn from the misconceptions and lack of understanding in society, many people develop a picture of what they think someone with a mental health problem looks/acts like, and because of this lots of people question whether they are 'ill enough' to seek help. The stigma surrounding mental health also means that it's not talked about as much as it should be and there is a severe lack of education when it comes to how to recognise the signs that you might be struggling with a mental health problem. Some of the many things that people with mental health problems hear are 'everyone gets nervous sometimes' and 'you're just stressed' and constantly hearing these kinds of comments can make some people believe that what they are experiencing is normal and not something they should talk to someone about or express concern over. However, if you feel like your mental health is hindering you in any way and affecting your mood or daily life then it's important to talk to your doctor about it as soon as possible. I found it useful to research beforehand to help me understand more about what I was experiencing and this made it easier for me to communicate my symptoms to the doctor. Mind UK has lots of great information on different mental health conditions and so does the NHS website. 

'But... you have a loving family'

I came across a picture the other day on facebook that quoted stigmatising comments that people with mental health problems are often faced with and one of them was 'you have a loving family'. Many people I've spoken to about mental health were nervous about telling their families about how they were feeling for many reasons. One of those reasons was because they didn't have a very supportive family and they were worried that they would be judged or even ridiculed. Another reason was because they didn't want to upset their loved ones. It can very hard to open up your family and friends if you've been depressed because you don't want them to somehow feel responsible or like they haven't been there enough for you. Some peoples loved ones can sometimes react by refusing to admit that they have a problem. All of these factors make being open about your mental health difficult. If you think you are ready to open up to your loved ones about mental health, plan a time that you can talk to them. Be prepared that you may get asked a lot of questions and that in most cases your family member or friend is just trying to understand. If you find it really difficult to discuss, maybe print out some information that you want them to know and ask them to read it in their own time. Remember that your loved ones' first reaction may not be their final reaction and that it's important to give them some time to think about what you've said. If you are not ready, then there are still many ways in which you can get some support for your mental health. There are several charities that operate helplines and email services for emotional support (find details here). There are also support groups and local organisations that offer different types of support (find info here) and you can visit your GP or ask to see a different GP in the same medical centre to discuss how you feel and they will refer to you to the local mental health service who can discuss the best options for you. 

 I hope this post has been helpful for anyone who is still questioning whether or not they should seek help. It was big step for me but I know it was an important thing to do to work on recovery and to learn strategies to help manage my mental health conditions. I'm happy that I did and I encourage everyone else to do so too. 

You are strong and brave and you can do this!

♥

If you have personally sought help for your mental health, 

what was one of your main worries?