I Didn't Complete the Readathon and That's Okay

Hi everyone! I hope you've all had an excellent bank holiday weekend :) It's just been the same old weekend as always for me, but I know many of you are very glad to have a break from work. I'd love to hear all about how you spent your bank holiday (despite lockdown making our days pretty uneventful, or mine at least!). 

So as you guys can tell from the title, today I'm writing a follow up to the last few bookish posts I shared on my blog. They were all about a readathon I was taking part in, and well... I didn't end up completing it! Oops :D But instead of beating myself up about it, I thought I'd share my thoughts about how I am looking at this positively. Enjoy reading! 

In case you haven't read my previous posts about the reading challenge, let me tell you all about it. It's a readathon that you can join in all year round, so if you're feeling inspired or looking for something to keep you busy during the current quarantine situation (don't listen to the government, you should still be staying indoors, if you can help it!), then definitely do the EstellosaurusReads 3 week, 4 book readathon! The reading challenge was set up by my amazing friend Estelle, over on her booktube, aka. book-themed YouTube channel. Go give EstellosaurusReads a follow! The rules of the challenge, as the name suggests, involve reading four books over a three week period, one from each of the following categories: a historical fiction, a non-fiction, a re-read & a book about the apocalypse (which is very fitting right now!). If you have read a book from one of these categories before and decide to give it another read, then you could tick off both for example, the non-fiction and the re-read books together, if that makes sense :) I however wanted to challenge myself to read more, because I was so behind on the Good Reads challenge I set myself for 2020!

So, what happened? 

Like with most of these kinds of things I decide to partake in, I always begin really determined and motivated. I get off to a great start and am very hyped about the challenge, but then eventually, life gets in the way and my enthusiasm ends up dwindling. It doesn't matter how much I love whatever I am trying to do, it's a struggle for me to keep it up. And this is most attributed to the fact that I live with several chronic illnesses, which mean my daily experience changes and whereas one day I can feel energised and ready to throw all my attention at something, the next day I can wake up feeling dejected, riddled with pain and it's a struggle to pull myself through the day. Who can relate? When it comes to my love for reading, don't get me wrong, it is a passion of mine; I love books! I adore getting lost between the pages, and many a difficult day throughout my life has been spent ignoring the outside world and getting drawn into a captivating story. Unfortunately, sometimes this just isn't possible. I just can't muster the mental strength it takes to pick up a book I'm supposed to be reading, and even if I do manage it, my concentration will often be almost non-existent and the intrusive thoughts I suffer from can mean that I can't detach myself from the negativity, and therefore I cannot get engrossed in the words on the page. 

Right now, so many of us are feeling crappy. And to be honest, I didn't expect to feel the way I do, considering I'm introverted and I have social anxiety, so staying at home is usually my happy place. Even when I'm looking forward to something, it's a challenge for me to fight the urge to cancel plans last-minute. But, I have started to feel trapped. I guess that it's different when you are forced to stay home VS getting to make that decision yourself (even if it can feel like your anxious wreck of a brain is usually the one making the decisions for you). It's tough enough being drained of energy due to my chronic illnesses, but then there's all this piled on top of that. Basically, it's tough af to get things done at the moment, and I'm sure lots of you will be in the same boat! 

Thus, I have been really up and down with my reading, and this all began practically as soon as I started the readathon. I re-read a favourite children's classic of mine, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. You can check my review here, if you're interested. Everything was going well. Then I started the non-fiction, and had opted for a topic that I don't usually read because I wanted to really challenge myself and learn something new in the process, however in hindsight, I shouldn't have done that whilst taking part in a challenge because I know my ways! I really couldn't get into it, and although there were some interesting parts, I was finding that I didn't want to pick up the book and it became a chore. 

I started to get irritated at myself and this didn't help either. I was irritated that I wasn't compelled to finish the book, and then the annoyance was making it even more difficult for me to do it. Living with mental illness really is like walking around with a storm cloud hoovering above your head sometimes! I found that I would get negative feelings about myself every time I thought about the book. By the time I finally convinced myself that I wasn't giving up and could come back to the non-fiction book, I didn't have much time left... 

I started reading Margaret Atwood's Alias Grace, for the historical fiction category, and I loved it! It was exactly what I wanted to be reading. It consumed my mind in the way that you want a book to, or I do anyway! I want to be thinking about the book after I put it down, find myself throughout the day puzzling over questions and theories I have developed, and struggle to put the book down to get boring adulting stuff done. But this novel is a good size and so it got to the end of my three weeks and I hadn't completed the challenge. With this came more negative thoughts, and that ruined my reading experience for a while. Oh, the joys of an overcritical mind! 

Last week, after giving myself a much needed rest, I picked up the book where I'd left off and all was great again! I've finished it now, and I very much enjoyed it :) Although I have my opinions, both positive and not, but this isn't a review post, haha. Since then, I have felt very motivated to read. I am almost finished with another book, The Neverending Story by Michael Ende, and oh my gosh, I'm obsessed!! Next, I will be FINALLY be reading Christina Dalcher's Vox :D So, in my opinion, the challenge has had a positive outcome. And even though I didn't complete it, as a result of taking part, I have been able to make additions to my Good Reads challenge and have had new stories brought into my life. Now, I don't want to stop reading! I am even now looking over at The Neverending Story with hungry eyes :D 

Something that I really like about Estelle's readathon is that I can have another go at any time! And so, I am planning on trying again later in the year, maybe when things are much improved with regards to the pandemic, or when I've gotten used to things! With the way the people in charge of running my country are going, I feel like it's only going to get worse, but let's not get into that... And this time around, I'm going to stick to a non-fiction topic that I know I will enjoy, like nature or psychology. I might try to go back to the book that initiated a case of readers-block in me at some point, now that there's no time constraint looming in the back of my mind. Even if I only read a page a day! It's not THAT boring, but I have discovered that a close look into the ins and outs of life as a barrister in the UK is not my thing. Although, at least I've added to my bank of random knowledge to pull out during a pub quiz! You never know when you might require a snippet of seemingly unimportant knowledge. haha. 

Anyhow, all in all, I enjoyed that the challenge lead me to read A Little Princess again, since I'd not read it for close to eight years and it was interesting to look at the book after having gone though some more life experience. It's always fascinating to see how you'll interpret a text in a future read, and discover how much your tastes or thoughts around a particular subject may have changed over time. It was a lovely nostalgic read and it got my imagination cogs turning, so to speak, which is always fun! As I said, I have been reading more over the last two weeks and that is also thanks to the readathon. So even if you don't complete a task that you start, especially if it's a challenge, then all was not in vain. You can still get something out an experience that you tried, even if that's just knowing what not to do again :)

I'll stop typing away now because Bastian, Atreyu and the Childlike Empress are calling me, and I have a mighty need to get lost in their adventure once more! This was a very wordy, chatty, whatever you'd call it type of post but I hope that it was still an interesting read, nonetheless. I hope that if you take anything away from it, that it's a reminder to not put yourself down for trying. It can take a lot to have a go at something, and we all have things going on in our lives that can interrupt our plans, but that's okay (albeit frustrating). Be kind of yourselves!

Thankyou for reading!

♥

Have you been reading lately? 

Got any recommendations (or suggestions of books to avoid)? 

I'm also interested to know whether you just enjoy reading posts like this? 

EstellosaurusReads Readathon: Week 1 Update

Happy Wednesday, guys! How's your life in lockdown going? Lately, my time has been filled up by reading & photography. I've been spending most of my days in the garden :) I have always been very grateful for the fact that I have a garden, as it is a big help when it comes to my mental health, but especially now, it has taken my gratitude to a whole new level! If you don't have a garden yourself, please make sure to get outside for a little while, at least once a week, even if it's just to venture around the block. Fresh air & surrounding yourselves with nature is important for your well-being, and it's nice to appreciate the seasonal changes that have sprung around us all now that it's Springtime. Anyhow... let me shut up my inner nature nerd and get on topic :D 

Today, I'm going to be talking about my progress now that I'm one week into the EstellosaurusReads 3 week, 4 book Readathon. If you haven't read my previous post, check it out now for all the important info :) And then you can join in, too! Now's the perfect time to throw yourself into reading and get transported to a world where Covid-19 is not wreaking havoc! 

So far, I have checked off the re-read category, by finishing A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I'm going to be sharing a little review for that in this post :) This story was a childhood favourite of mine, and I have the 1995 movie to thank for that. I didn't actually read the book until I was a teenager, and before this past week, I had only read it two times. It had been around 8 years since that second reading, and it's always interesting how our opinions and feelings surrounding stories can change over time. I still love it, don't worry! But it's fascinating how looking at the book with fresh eyes (if that even makes sense) and a few more years life experience has an impact, even if it's a small one. It did not take me long to complete this book, especially as the story gets going, as I am always pulled into it and it doesn't take long for my brain to start swirling with imagery. It's lovely to experience feelings of nostalgia when remembering things you were fond of as a child. I just didn't want to put the book down! 

I decided that next I was going to start the non-fiction category, as I felt like it would a good transitionary read between a children's book and the apocalyptic novel I'm planning on reading as my third book of the readathon. When it comes to non-fiction, I usually stick to the same subjects, the ones that most interest me, such a animal science, nature, psychology & true crime. But as I mentioned in my first post for the EstellosaurusReads challenge, I went with something different, and I'm interested to broaden my knowledge of the in's and out's of the UK's criminal justice system. I started Anonymous Author's The Secret Barrister on Monday, and so far, it's been a pretty good read. Up to where I am now, the author is going over the history of various sectors of the law, and how those have changed into what we now see in the modern day court setting. As a history lover, I have found myself pretty engrossed in these pages. However, I'll let you guys know more in my next update :) 

Okay, here's my attempt at a book review :D Apologies in advance if it's boring or I ramble! 


Firstly, I want to give this novel a rating of 5 stars! And thus, it's pretty obviously that this review is going to be a mostly positive one, but I will mention some parts that I wish were done differently and give my two-cents on the very few negative opinions I have. The blurb for A Little Princess is as follows: Alone in a new country, wealthy Sara Crewe tries to settle in and make friends at boarding school. But when she learns that she'll never see her beloved father again, her life is turned upside down. Transformed from princess to pauper, she must swap dancing lessons and luxury for hard work and a room in the attic. Will she find that kindness and generosity are all the riches she truly needs? I love a good boarding school setting! I'm not sure why, possibly because of its historical element (I mean, there are of course modern day boarding schools, but the kind that pop up in fiction are typically from another time period or run in the same traditional way that they have always done. When it comes to Harry Potter, for example... although it is full of magic, the school itself is dated, and it's wonderful!). 

The protagonist, little Sara Crewe, is easy to like! With a whimsical and fanciful nature, it's impossible to not find her endearing. Her imagination runs away with her constantly and we are given the impression that she was basically a story-teller from the moment she could talk. She's awe-inspiring to all who meet her throughout the story, and it is not difficult to see why. She's caring, very understanding of human nature for such a young person, and her personality makes one wish that they had a friend like her, at least I do! I can very much relate to Sara in that I would get carried away with myself all the time as a kid when it came to story-telling. I would go off on a tangent as my imagination took over :D I just hope that others thought of me as those around the protagonist do, and didn't find me annoying, haha! 

We are now heading into spoiler territory! I won't go into too much detail, as I might ramble on all night given the chance, but I will tell you guys all about my favourite and least favourite moments of the novel. 

What I Liked About this Book

As mentioned above, Sara's character is one of the best features of the story, in my opinion :) The book is set in the Victorian era, and so we are met with various customs surrounding class and societal expectations. There was a strict class system during this period of history and people were treat a certain way depending on which part of society they belonged to. Sara and the other students of the boarding school were upper-class, and as such we see that they have been raised to uphold specific judgements towards people who are lower in social rank than them. Sara, however, who was raised in India around many people who all lead different walks of life, is a very compassionate little girl and does not look at the world through the prejudiced eyes that those around her do. She is nice to everyone, even those who are mean towards her, and this is a lovely quality to possess, especially because it so contrasts the status quo of the period. 

One of my favourite parts of A Little Princess is the relationship between Sara and the scullery maid, Becky. Becky has been accustomed to a life of hardship and has always been treat poorly because she is a servant. The children of the school copy the example of their teachers & the figures of authority in their lives and so they shun Becky/ ignore her due to the difference in their situations. Sara was lovely with Becky from the start. As she told her stories to her peers, she wanted to share the joy of make-believe with all who were interested in hearing it, and therefore encouraged Becky to listen, too, to the confusion of the other girls. She and Becky fast-formed a bond as teller and listener, and Sara would organise for her new-found friend to meet with her whilst she was carrying out her chores so that she could give her a new snippet of a tale each day. It was so sweet! Once Sara's situation changed and she & Becky were now living under the same circumstance, their friendship only grew and it was heart-warming to read :) 

There are so many other things that I could mention as another favourite! But I'll go for the way that Sara has such a positive outlook on life. Due to the power of such a strong imagination and her ability to see the best in everything, she is able to always look on the bright side of life, as the saying goes. So much so that the people around her can't help seeing things the way she does. Her happiness radiates and she is very persuasive. There is a scene in particular when she is able to imagine that she is hosting a fine tea party in her attic bedroom, and is able to describe the most enchanting scene that her friends become fully enthralled in the fantasy, too. It's beautiful! 

I can't focus on anymore of the good parts now because my post is getting very long! Thankyou to all of you who are made it this far; I hope that you are finding my review to be an interesting one at least! :D 

What I Disliked About this Book 

Now let's discuss the parts I don't like! In the story, extraordinary occurrences take place. A man living next door, after having observed Sara's wonderful personality and her unique ways, decides to surprise our protagonist by transforming her attic bedroom into a tiny replica of a one that is fit for a princess. Whilst she is asleep, her room is transformed and she wakes up, as is to be expected, with amazed surprise to the extremely kind gesture. This is all wonderful, however, we find out that the man has been watching her (that sounds creepy, haha!) and he takes pity on her living situation. As Sara shares the attic with Becky, and they spend time together often, it annoys me that the man doesn't show the same generosity towards her also. Eventually, after watching the reaction of Sara in response to the bedroom makeover and that Becky was immediately invited to join in the splendour by her, he then makes sure to leave behind enough food for the both of them the following morning. It just somewhat broke my heart that after observing the both of them, he only took it upon himself to treat Sara. Why though? His character is described in such a way that we are supposed to see him as a very kind and caring man, and although he clearly shows that with his gesture, I still see an underlying layer of classism. He can tell that because Sara is a well-spoken, educated person, that she clearly isn't the typical servant girl, and she is given this surprise largely because of that. Yes, she is also kind and sweet, but so is Becky... so why was she not considered? Let me know what you guys think about this... singling out?

Also in regards to the treatment of Becky, it really disappoints me at the end of the novel, when Sara's place in society is reinstated once she is 'found' and made aware of her fortune, that she is taken away from the life of a servant and is once more going to be raised as a high-society lady, that Becky, her ally and now very close friend, is removed from the school, too, yes, but she is to become one of Sara's servants essentially. I don't see why the kind man who takes Sara in couldn't also 'adopt' Becky as well; it's not as if Sara's fortune is meagre, she's really rich!! Both girls could live very comfortable lives via her inheritance and Becky could be educated, as well. This would have been a happy ending for all round! I know that we are made to see this ending as a happy one for Becky, but she's still a servant at the end of the day. I understand that the book was written in 1901 (I think) and this ending for Becky would have been seen as a very fortunate one by readers at the time, but ugh. It just irks me. In the 1995 movie adaptation, Becky becomes like a sister to Sara. I could write a whole post about the difference between the movie and the book though, so let me know if that's something you'd like to see, guys :) 

I will force myself to stop here! I hope you all enjoyed reading my review of Frances Hodgson Burnett's A Little Princess. Please tell me if you did so I can stop worrying, and share more in the future. I'm having a lot of fun taking part in the EstellosaurusReads readathon! Be sure to check out Estelle's blog & booktube channel. 

Thankyou for reading! Have a lovely rest of the week, everyone! 

♥

Have you ever read A Little Princess before? What's your opinion?

What about the movie adaptation I've mentioned? 

Also, I'd love to hear what books you're all reading right now :) 

The EstellosaurusReads Readathon

Hi lovelies! I hope you're all having a marvellous start to the week :) Today, I have another bookish post to share with you all & as you can see from the title, it involves my fabulous friend & fellow blogger, Estelle. If you haven't read my last post where I answered Estelle's Book Tag, you can check it out here. As for today's post, I'm going to be talking about the EstellosaurusReads 3 Week, 4 Book Readathon. I'll be talking about what's involved, aka., the categories, and discussing the four books I have chosen. Enjoy!

As well as writing a blog, Estelle also runs two YouTube channels, one dedicated to spreading awareness about everyday life living with a disability, and the other is EstellosaurusReads, which as you have probably guessed, it's all about the wonderful world of reading! It is through this channel that Estelle has launched her new readathon challenge, that you can join in with at anytime. The only rules are that you follow the categories and you read your books within three weeks :) Click here to watch the original challenge video. 

So, what are the categories? Participants are asked to choose a book from each of the following genres: 1 Historical fiction, 1 Apocolypse themed book, 1 non-fiction, and 1 re-read of any kind. There's also the option to limit the amount of books to have to read to three, if the re-read chosen also fits into another of the aforementioned categories. 

It was perfect timing that Estelle announced her readathon just before I was planning to do a book haul on eBay! I had been wanting to get some new books for a while, and this lockdown/quarantine was the kick up the butt I needed to get the ball rolling :D The start of 2020 has been a rough one for me, even before this dreadful virus surfaced, and as a consequence, I just haven't had any motivation to do much of anything. I am seriously behind on my GoodReads challenge for the year! But it feels like a brilliant time to get lost in my happy place, which is between the pages of a good book, and not think about what's happening in the world as I stay indoors. If you're a fan of reading and you're looking for something to occupy these days cooped up at home, then you should join in, too :) 

Okay, so the books that I have chosen are as follows; 

For Historical Fiction, I decided on Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood. If you haven't heard of this author before, she is the brains behind the original story that inspired the popular Hulu series, The Handmaid's Tale. This book is actually one of the best I've read and I'm a big fan of the show, so I'm very curious to see how her writing translates over to a historical tale. Alias Grace was adapted into a six-part series by Netflix back in 2017, and as I am a lover of all things period drama, I really enjoyed it. Let's see if I feel the same way about the story in its literary form! 

For the Apocolytic catergory, I originally chose The Passage by Justin Cronin, but the book that arrived is MASSIVE and I feel like it might be a struggle for me to read along with the other books :D However, I luckily ordered another novel of the same type and that is Cormac McCarthy's The Road. You may recognise the name from the movie adaptation released in 2009. I watched it as soon as it was released on DVD because Viggo Mortensen *all the heart eyes*, and thought it was a very compeling story. I am super excited to read the book! 

When it comes to the re-read, I have chosen one of my favourite stories of all-time,  A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This is a classic children's novel by the same author who is behind the more well known, The Secret Garden. I fell in love with the tale I am going to re-read when I was around 7 years old and watched the 1995 movie on TV. The protagonist is called Sara, just like me and that made me even more drawn into the story, as well as the historical setting, as I have always been a history nerd. I didn't actually read the book until I was in my teens when I borrowed it from the local library, and in my 20's when I got my kindle, I downloaded the story and read it again, and loved it just as much. I'm very much looking forward to reading it for a third time, and I'm sure I'll read it again and again for years to come :)

Lastly, the fourth book that I will be reading as part of the EstellosaurusReads readathon, to check off the non-fiction category, is something that I wouldn't normally read, so it's going be very interesting. I am a seeker of knowledge, in general, and will read a lot of non-fiction books about topics that interest me, mostly animal science and nature related, but also psychology, history, medical science and enclyopaedia-esque books. Even though I was wanting to choose a book that was outside of my usual go-to topics, I honestly just went for this book as I was trying to pick things from the same second-hand seller :D But I'm hoping that The Secret Barrister is a fun read. We'll see! I do really like how the author is anoymous... i'm crossing my fingers for some intriguing reveals about what goes on behind the scenes in the law system. 

Well, those are the reasons for why I chose the four books I am going to be reading over the next three weeks. I'm going to start tomorrow, Wednesday 8th April and will need to be completed by the 29th. Wish me luck! I am planning to post updates, maybe including book reviews, even through I'm not sure I can write them very well, haha. 

A big thankyou to Estelle for setting up this readathon challenge, and giving us all something to distract ourselves from all the shit that's taking place around us at the moment. Be sure to head over to her blog to have a read; she posts lots about books, and also fashion, living with sacral agenesis, hauls, cats and more. She also the most colourful & awesome Instagram that you need to follow! Whether you are joining in with this readathon or not (which you totally should be), happy reading, my bookworm brethren :)

Thankyou for reading!

♥

What are you reading at the moment?

Do you have any book recommendations from the categories mentioned in this post? 

Follow along with my readathon progress via my Instagram & Twitter