I Didn't Complete the Readathon and That's Okay

Hi everyone! I hope you've all had an excellent bank holiday weekend :) It's just been the same old weekend as always for me, but I know many of you are very glad to have a break from work. I'd love to hear all about how you spent your bank holiday (despite lockdown making our days pretty uneventful, or mine at least!). 

So as you guys can tell from the title, today I'm writing a follow up to the last few bookish posts I shared on my blog. They were all about a readathon I was taking part in, and well... I didn't end up completing it! Oops :D But instead of beating myself up about it, I thought I'd share my thoughts about how I am looking at this positively. Enjoy reading! 

In case you haven't read my previous posts about the reading challenge, let me tell you all about it. It's a readathon that you can join in all year round, so if you're feeling inspired or looking for something to keep you busy during the current quarantine situation (don't listen to the government, you should still be staying indoors, if you can help it!), then definitely do the EstellosaurusReads 3 week, 4 book readathon! The reading challenge was set up by my amazing friend Estelle, over on her booktube, aka. book-themed YouTube channel. Go give EstellosaurusReads a follow! The rules of the challenge, as the name suggests, involve reading four books over a three week period, one from each of the following categories: a historical fiction, a non-fiction, a re-read & a book about the apocalypse (which is very fitting right now!). If you have read a book from one of these categories before and decide to give it another read, then you could tick off both for example, the non-fiction and the re-read books together, if that makes sense :) I however wanted to challenge myself to read more, because I was so behind on the Good Reads challenge I set myself for 2020!

So, what happened? 

Like with most of these kinds of things I decide to partake in, I always begin really determined and motivated. I get off to a great start and am very hyped about the challenge, but then eventually, life gets in the way and my enthusiasm ends up dwindling. It doesn't matter how much I love whatever I am trying to do, it's a struggle for me to keep it up. And this is most attributed to the fact that I live with several chronic illnesses, which mean my daily experience changes and whereas one day I can feel energised and ready to throw all my attention at something, the next day I can wake up feeling dejected, riddled with pain and it's a struggle to pull myself through the day. Who can relate? When it comes to my love for reading, don't get me wrong, it is a passion of mine; I love books! I adore getting lost between the pages, and many a difficult day throughout my life has been spent ignoring the outside world and getting drawn into a captivating story. Unfortunately, sometimes this just isn't possible. I just can't muster the mental strength it takes to pick up a book I'm supposed to be reading, and even if I do manage it, my concentration will often be almost non-existent and the intrusive thoughts I suffer from can mean that I can't detach myself from the negativity, and therefore I cannot get engrossed in the words on the page. 

Right now, so many of us are feeling crappy. And to be honest, I didn't expect to feel the way I do, considering I'm introverted and I have social anxiety, so staying at home is usually my happy place. Even when I'm looking forward to something, it's a challenge for me to fight the urge to cancel plans last-minute. But, I have started to feel trapped. I guess that it's different when you are forced to stay home VS getting to make that decision yourself (even if it can feel like your anxious wreck of a brain is usually the one making the decisions for you). It's tough enough being drained of energy due to my chronic illnesses, but then there's all this piled on top of that. Basically, it's tough af to get things done at the moment, and I'm sure lots of you will be in the same boat! 

Thus, I have been really up and down with my reading, and this all began practically as soon as I started the readathon. I re-read a favourite children's classic of mine, A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. You can check my review here, if you're interested. Everything was going well. Then I started the non-fiction, and had opted for a topic that I don't usually read because I wanted to really challenge myself and learn something new in the process, however in hindsight, I shouldn't have done that whilst taking part in a challenge because I know my ways! I really couldn't get into it, and although there were some interesting parts, I was finding that I didn't want to pick up the book and it became a chore. 

I started to get irritated at myself and this didn't help either. I was irritated that I wasn't compelled to finish the book, and then the annoyance was making it even more difficult for me to do it. Living with mental illness really is like walking around with a storm cloud hoovering above your head sometimes! I found that I would get negative feelings about myself every time I thought about the book. By the time I finally convinced myself that I wasn't giving up and could come back to the non-fiction book, I didn't have much time left... 

I started reading Margaret Atwood's Alias Grace, for the historical fiction category, and I loved it! It was exactly what I wanted to be reading. It consumed my mind in the way that you want a book to, or I do anyway! I want to be thinking about the book after I put it down, find myself throughout the day puzzling over questions and theories I have developed, and struggle to put the book down to get boring adulting stuff done. But this novel is a good size and so it got to the end of my three weeks and I hadn't completed the challenge. With this came more negative thoughts, and that ruined my reading experience for a while. Oh, the joys of an overcritical mind! 

Last week, after giving myself a much needed rest, I picked up the book where I'd left off and all was great again! I've finished it now, and I very much enjoyed it :) Although I have my opinions, both positive and not, but this isn't a review post, haha. Since then, I have felt very motivated to read. I am almost finished with another book, The Neverending Story by Michael Ende, and oh my gosh, I'm obsessed!! Next, I will be FINALLY be reading Christina Dalcher's Vox :D So, in my opinion, the challenge has had a positive outcome. And even though I didn't complete it, as a result of taking part, I have been able to make additions to my Good Reads challenge and have had new stories brought into my life. Now, I don't want to stop reading! I am even now looking over at The Neverending Story with hungry eyes :D 

Something that I really like about Estelle's readathon is that I can have another go at any time! And so, I am planning on trying again later in the year, maybe when things are much improved with regards to the pandemic, or when I've gotten used to things! With the way the people in charge of running my country are going, I feel like it's only going to get worse, but let's not get into that... And this time around, I'm going to stick to a non-fiction topic that I know I will enjoy, like nature or psychology. I might try to go back to the book that initiated a case of readers-block in me at some point, now that there's no time constraint looming in the back of my mind. Even if I only read a page a day! It's not THAT boring, but I have discovered that a close look into the ins and outs of life as a barrister in the UK is not my thing. Although, at least I've added to my bank of random knowledge to pull out during a pub quiz! You never know when you might require a snippet of seemingly unimportant knowledge. haha. 

Anyhow, all in all, I enjoyed that the challenge lead me to read A Little Princess again, since I'd not read it for close to eight years and it was interesting to look at the book after having gone though some more life experience. It's always fascinating to see how you'll interpret a text in a future read, and discover how much your tastes or thoughts around a particular subject may have changed over time. It was a lovely nostalgic read and it got my imagination cogs turning, so to speak, which is always fun! As I said, I have been reading more over the last two weeks and that is also thanks to the readathon. So even if you don't complete a task that you start, especially if it's a challenge, then all was not in vain. You can still get something out an experience that you tried, even if that's just knowing what not to do again :)

I'll stop typing away now because Bastian, Atreyu and the Childlike Empress are calling me, and I have a mighty need to get lost in their adventure once more! This was a very wordy, chatty, whatever you'd call it type of post but I hope that it was still an interesting read, nonetheless. I hope that if you take anything away from it, that it's a reminder to not put yourself down for trying. It can take a lot to have a go at something, and we all have things going on in our lives that can interrupt our plans, but that's okay (albeit frustrating). Be kind of yourselves!

Thankyou for reading!

♥

Have you been reading lately? 

Got any recommendations (or suggestions of books to avoid)? 

I'm also interested to know whether you just enjoy reading posts like this? 

The EstellosaurusReads Readathon

Hi lovelies! I hope you're all having a marvellous start to the week :) Today, I have another bookish post to share with you all & as you can see from the title, it involves my fabulous friend & fellow blogger, Estelle. If you haven't read my last post where I answered Estelle's Book Tag, you can check it out here. As for today's post, I'm going to be talking about the EstellosaurusReads 3 Week, 4 Book Readathon. I'll be talking about what's involved, aka., the categories, and discussing the four books I have chosen. Enjoy!

As well as writing a blog, Estelle also runs two YouTube channels, one dedicated to spreading awareness about everyday life living with a disability, and the other is EstellosaurusReads, which as you have probably guessed, it's all about the wonderful world of reading! It is through this channel that Estelle has launched her new readathon challenge, that you can join in with at anytime. The only rules are that you follow the categories and you read your books within three weeks :) Click here to watch the original challenge video. 

So, what are the categories? Participants are asked to choose a book from each of the following genres: 1 Historical fiction, 1 Apocolypse themed book, 1 non-fiction, and 1 re-read of any kind. There's also the option to limit the amount of books to have to read to three, if the re-read chosen also fits into another of the aforementioned categories. 

It was perfect timing that Estelle announced her readathon just before I was planning to do a book haul on eBay! I had been wanting to get some new books for a while, and this lockdown/quarantine was the kick up the butt I needed to get the ball rolling :D The start of 2020 has been a rough one for me, even before this dreadful virus surfaced, and as a consequence, I just haven't had any motivation to do much of anything. I am seriously behind on my GoodReads challenge for the year! But it feels like a brilliant time to get lost in my happy place, which is between the pages of a good book, and not think about what's happening in the world as I stay indoors. If you're a fan of reading and you're looking for something to occupy these days cooped up at home, then you should join in, too :) 

Okay, so the books that I have chosen are as follows; 

For Historical Fiction, I decided on Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood. If you haven't heard of this author before, she is the brains behind the original story that inspired the popular Hulu series, The Handmaid's Tale. This book is actually one of the best I've read and I'm a big fan of the show, so I'm very curious to see how her writing translates over to a historical tale. Alias Grace was adapted into a six-part series by Netflix back in 2017, and as I am a lover of all things period drama, I really enjoyed it. Let's see if I feel the same way about the story in its literary form! 

For the Apocolytic catergory, I originally chose The Passage by Justin Cronin, but the book that arrived is MASSIVE and I feel like it might be a struggle for me to read along with the other books :D However, I luckily ordered another novel of the same type and that is Cormac McCarthy's The Road. You may recognise the name from the movie adaptation released in 2009. I watched it as soon as it was released on DVD because Viggo Mortensen *all the heart eyes*, and thought it was a very compeling story. I am super excited to read the book! 

When it comes to the re-read, I have chosen one of my favourite stories of all-time,  A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This is a classic children's novel by the same author who is behind the more well known, The Secret Garden. I fell in love with the tale I am going to re-read when I was around 7 years old and watched the 1995 movie on TV. The protagonist is called Sara, just like me and that made me even more drawn into the story, as well as the historical setting, as I have always been a history nerd. I didn't actually read the book until I was in my teens when I borrowed it from the local library, and in my 20's when I got my kindle, I downloaded the story and read it again, and loved it just as much. I'm very much looking forward to reading it for a third time, and I'm sure I'll read it again and again for years to come :)

Lastly, the fourth book that I will be reading as part of the EstellosaurusReads readathon, to check off the non-fiction category, is something that I wouldn't normally read, so it's going be very interesting. I am a seeker of knowledge, in general, and will read a lot of non-fiction books about topics that interest me, mostly animal science and nature related, but also psychology, history, medical science and enclyopaedia-esque books. Even though I was wanting to choose a book that was outside of my usual go-to topics, I honestly just went for this book as I was trying to pick things from the same second-hand seller :D But I'm hoping that The Secret Barrister is a fun read. We'll see! I do really like how the author is anoymous... i'm crossing my fingers for some intriguing reveals about what goes on behind the scenes in the law system. 

Well, those are the reasons for why I chose the four books I am going to be reading over the next three weeks. I'm going to start tomorrow, Wednesday 8th April and will need to be completed by the 29th. Wish me luck! I am planning to post updates, maybe including book reviews, even through I'm not sure I can write them very well, haha. 

A big thankyou to Estelle for setting up this readathon challenge, and giving us all something to distract ourselves from all the shit that's taking place around us at the moment. Be sure to head over to her blog to have a read; she posts lots about books, and also fashion, living with sacral agenesis, hauls, cats and more. She also the most colourful & awesome Instagram that you need to follow! Whether you are joining in with this readathon or not (which you totally should be), happy reading, my bookworm brethren :)

Thankyou for reading!

♥

What are you reading at the moment?

Do you have any book recommendations from the categories mentioned in this post? 

Follow along with my readathon progress via my Instagram & Twitter 

The Estellosaurus Book Tag

Hello people of the internet! Long time, no speak! That saying perfectly reflects the relationship I have with this little blog of mine right now :D People are saying this is the time that we should all be throwing ourselves wholeheartedly into our hobbies, and that may be the case for those whose lives are usually tied up by work or other social/family obligations. However, I live with chronic illnesses, and the majority of these are mental health conditions that seriously impact my ability to engage in most aspects of social interaction. Thus, I am unable to work, so the social distancing life which has taken over most of our lives is pretty much my everyday existence. I struggle to partake in my hobbies at the best of times and it's not as simple, for me, to just suddenly become super engaged in my hobbies as it probably is for those who aren't disabled. It is hard trying to not take to heart all of the pressure to do ALL THE THINGS during the lockdown! 

I've been trying to motivate myself to blog for days (weeks even!), so it was just wonderful timing for my fabulous friend Estelle to tag me in a Book Tag she's just created! So, this post is for my fellow bookish people :) I hope you all enjoy reading! I can't promise my answers will be very interesting though. You have been warned XD 

Welcome to the Estellosaurus Reads Book Tag! Here are the rules: 

1. Copy and paste the rules and sentence above. Answer the questions. Duh.

2. Thank the person who tagged you, don't forget to link to their original post/answers,

3. Tag 2 new people to take part,

4. Use #EstellosaurusReads if you share your post anywhere!

5. Have a nice cup of tea.

Thankyou so much for the tag, Estelle! And I have myself a cuppa at the ready as I type out my answers :) 

Q1) What are you reading at the moment, if you aren't reading, what have you just finished? 

I am currently reading Everything's Eventual by Stephen King. It is a collection of short stories and my favourites so far have been The Little Sisters of Eluria, and Autopsy Room Four. I'm going to explain a bit about each briefly, so subtle spoiler alert! 

Autopsy Room Four is all about a man who finds himself in an autopsy room, and soon realises that he is unable to move and is presumed to be dead. I'll let you guys use your imagination :O The Little Sisters of Eluria is much less intense but still centres around spooky goings-on. Obviously, it's written by Stephen King :D But anyhow, it's a futuristic tale about a cult of strange nurses and patients that keep disappearing. I don't usually read many short stories and I'm really enjoying this book, so I'll definitely read more :) 

Q2) What book does everyone love that you just don't get?

Last year, I finally got around to reading some old classics that have been loved for years and years, and are deemed to be literary masterpieces in one way or another, and although I could see why they are so acclaimed, especially at the time they were published... I just didn't enjoy some of them like I thought I was going to. 

One of these was The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style and found it pretty tough to get through because of it, and the fact that I wasn't engaged by the storyline at all. I found the protagonist, Holden Caulfield, to be very annoying and I think that was maybe the point, but oh my gosh, did it make it difficult to get through the entire book! I didn't care about what happened to him, and I had to force myself to keep going, almost giving up several times. Those of you who have read The Catcher in the Rye, what did you think? 

Q3) What book or book series deserves its very own Netflix (other streaming sites are available) series?

Ooo this is such a tough question, because there's so many! I'd love to see a series made for the Marauder's 'era' of the Harry Potter novels, about all of the adult characters as teens at Hogwarts. Another book that I read last year was Tess Gerritsen's The Bone Garden (which was very kindly lent to me by Estelle, as was the Part of Your World book in my photo above! You're a star!!) and all the way through reading it, I couldn't stop thinking 'this would be good as a movie!', but I much prefer TV series because so much more detail and character development can go into them VS movies. So I'd love to see that adapted on film in some way, too :) 

Q4) Is there a book that you just could not finish? Why? 

There have been many books that I have not finished and to be honest, it wasn't because I didn't enjoy them, but more because of the state of my mental health at the time that I picked up the book. I love books, I thoroughly adore getting lost between the pages and being transported to other worlds in my mind. However, over the years, I have had a strange relationship with reading (and with lots of other things I love to do), and it's taken me a while to get back to my old bookworm self. There are many books that I didn't finish that I will pick up again at some point. One being Cross Stitch by Diana Gabaldon, (aka Outlander).

But to answer the question correctly, one book that I could not, for the life of me, finish was Stephen King's The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordan. It's maybe somewhat due to the fact that I was a teenager when I tried to read it and the storyline just wasn't my cup of tea back then, but I really don't think it would be now either. My best friend lent it to me after she also tried and failed to read it. It didn't take me long to understand why! It's about a girl who gets lost in the woods, and I just found it so unengaging. Maybe the story would have gotten better, but I just couldn't make it past half way through the book. Oops! 

Q5) What book is your recommendation when someone asks you to suggest a good read?

All of my favourites. The Harry Potter novels (J.K. Rowling) , The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings book series (J.R.R. Tolkien) , The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood), A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett), to name a few :) 

Q6) Is there a book that you've read multiple times? Why do you keep going back to it? 

I have read each of the A Song of Ice & Fire novels by George R.R. Martin at least twice, some of them three times now, partly because they are so detailed and I feel like the second time you read them, you notice things that you didn't the first time around. Have you ever felt like that with any books before? And also because I love them! I am very much into the lore and very invested in the plot and several of the characters. I really enjoy the multi-character point of view through this book series, with each chapter being told from a different perspective. When I was deep into reading the books, I spent a lot of time when I wasn't actually turning pages, thinking about the world. George! We need the next book already! T_T 

Q7) Is there a book that you had to study at school that you would definitely never, ever read again?

Not at school, but when I was studying English Literature at college: The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald). I could have chosen this book to answer question two as well, because it's another one of those classic novels that people seem to love. It was still interesting to delve deep into the meaning and symbolism behind the plot, but I just didn't like any of the characters. They all irritated me in some way and I found myself not caring at all what became of them by the end of the novel. Sorry to all those Gatsby fans out there, but I never, ever want to pick up this book again! 

I was lucky in that, I actually enjoyed most of the books that I read during high school. For my GCSE's, we had to read Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, and Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Oh... actually, I take back my statement XD I don't ever want to read the play, An Inspector Calls (J.B. Priestly & John Scicluna) again for the rest of my life! Who's had the unfortune of reading it before?

Q8) Is there a book that stirs a memory for you of a point in your life?

The book that came to mind first when I read this question was Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. In my early teens is when I really discovered my love for Japan and all things related to the culture and history of this beautiful country. I was pretty obsessed to be honest (and still am to this day, haha!) and so I just loved learning as much as I could about Japan. I found the Memoirs of a Geisha book at my dad's house and immediately started reading it, and not long after that, my best friend surprised me for my birthday when the 2005 movie adaptation was released. Although there is a lot of controversy involving the author and Mineko Iwasaki, the real woman behind the story, this book always makes me think about those years of my life and for that I will always have fond feelings surrounding the book. 

Q9) Who is that one literary character you've like to punch in the face?

Dolores Umbridge! 

Q10) If you could re-write the ending of a book, which book would you pick and how would you change it? 

*spoilers* 

I need to stop myself keep returning to Harry Potter, but I'm a fangirl so I can't XD. I would make it so Professor Severus Snape had a cure for Nagini's attack, or someone came along and saved him :'( He is one of my favourite characters from the novels, and I was very unhappy about what happened to him in the end. Although, to be honest, I can see why J.K. Rowling made that decision. But no. 

I wouldn't really change any ending of the books I've read. I'm usually accepting of any ending the author decides upon, and if I don't like the ending, it's mostly due to the fact that I wasn't a fan of the overall story and I was hoping the ending would make it worth the effort of enduring the entire book! The last book I remember disliking the ending of was back in high school when I was reading Of Mice and Men. Like, did he really have to die? I mean it made sense, because of the views of society during the time period that the book was set in, but my poor heart. 

Oh my god though, if the ASOIAF novels end as rushed and thoughtless as the inspired HBO series, I'll be pissed! I don't mind a ruthless and somewhat unhappy ending for some characters, and I don't even mind some sort of plot-twist or shock factor scenerio, but bloody hell, that was a shitshow, after being so invested for years... but this is a book tag so I won't ramble on about that! But please let the final books that we are waiting ever so patiently for do justice to the story that we've all fallen in love with so much! 

So, those are all of my answers. Hopefully that wasn't too boring to read and that I did Estelle's tag justice! Estelle blogs over at Estellosaurus and also runs two Youtube channels; one is about disabled life and the other is dedicated to books! They are all brillaint and you totally need to go check them out :) In fact, if you are a fan of reading, then you definitely have to go watch this video. And join in with the #EstellosaurusReads Readathon ♥ I will be doing very soon. So, stay safe guys! Keep indoors and look after yourselves and your immunocompromised loved ones & neighbours! We will get through this shitty time together. I'll try to get another post up as soon as possible. Have the best week you can, under the current circumstances! 

Before I finish this post, I tag Jess from Little Piink Duck and Eleanor from MxrshmallowQueen to join in! 

Thankyou for reading! 

♥

What are you currently reading? 

What book are you planning to read next?

Please feel free to join in with this Book Tag and tag Estelle if you do! 

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2016 Reading Challenge

Earlier this week, the lovely Estelle tweeted the 2016 Reading Challenge & I really wanted to join in and blog about the process. Estelle will also be blogging about her progress with the challenge so be sure to check her blog! Also, thankyou Anne over at Modern Mrs.Darcy for creating the challenge :)

The first objective that I can tick off on the challenge is 'a book you've been meaning to read'. Last year, one of my flatmates at university recommended I read the Divergent Series by Veronica Roth after I watched the first movie adaptation. I loved it and so I really wanted to read the books! I asked for the collection for Christmas and I started reading the first book a few days later. I finished it last week and tomorrow, I'm starting on the second book in the collection: Insurgent. 

I won't reveal any spoilers about Divergent but if any of you would like to see a review of the series when I've finished reading them, let me know. I thought it was an awesome book and I'm super excited to read the other books! As always, it's so much better than the movie so I'm glad I'm reading the books before watching the rest of them. Who else has read the Divergent books?

 I encourage anyone who enjoys reading to have a go at the 2016 Reading Challenge. I'm so glad that I'm getting my motivation for reading back. Due to my depression, I really struggled to do the things I once loved to do in 2015 and it's my aim this year to get my passion back for my hobbies. I'm hoping I can complete this challenge. 

 ♥

 Thankyou for reading! 

What's a book that you've all been meaning to read but haven't gotten round to it yet?